Geesh....

I seriously seriously hate my sisters, they can be a pain in the neck and not to mention a hypocrite. Obviously i cant stand their attitude. Mum told me that they are acting that way because my dad is always on my side and they are just plain jealous. they always trying to find faults in whatever i do. they must be real sick. nothing better to do. I hurt my dad feelings alot and I'm feeling so guilty about it, but whenever he's around I'm always acting cool. saying the opposite when i mean the other way. I'm always throwing tantrum for no reason. sometimes i didn't want to show my true self. i rather be misunderstood by people. but its alright I'm always being misunderstood. so I'm alright with it. I'm used to it. I really tied up my deepest feelings so that non can be leak out. i really numb myself out. I'm sorry dad, i love you alot. I just don't know how to express out my feelings and I'm sorry every times i wanted to do something it turn out the way u expected. I'm always making you angry and sad. Please forgive me dad. I can't believe I'm a crybaby. and i don't want to get emotional. i hate it alot. sometimes i feel so inferior and ugly. just want to hide myself in the black hole. this entry of mine is so random I'm sorry. Thank you Lester for making realizing that there is a true friendship in my world. Making me believe that friendship is important. Thank you for everything that you have done to make me feel that way, I'm grateful to you. thank you for making me trust the word friendship. Thank you for giving me that hope. I truly appreciate it.