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I cant believe my determinations and will is always On and off. What should i do?. I'm confused right now. How can i accept others love when my heart is still locked. The key to my heart is now where to be found. I cant seems to unlocked it. No matter what methods i used. Sometimes i try not to listen to what my heart wants. Just used my brain. but it didn't work. I'm totally disappointed in myself. Is this how my fate going to turn out. Why is my thoughts full of David Tan. I cant finger out what i want. After getting alot of rejections from him, i still haven't learn my lessons. I Still want to keep trying. No matter how bad it turn out. Why must i always find humiliations for myself. Getting rejected by him no matter how hard i try to win him back. Maybe what he wants is not me but someone else. Elly stop being so naive.. Loving someone is really painful and hard. Maybe letting someone love me is more better. at least it wont be as painful as loving someone with all your heart.