Daddy.....

my dad is sick, he is feeling sick so badly that he whine like a baby 24/7. It irritated me sometimes and always i feel sorry for him.. I got mad at him when he wash my favourite reebok shoe with chlorine. Even when he is sick he wash it for me. I got really mad and start cursing him telling him to die early. how could i forget that, His past and present love and affection towards his children. We siblings is always his first piority but we are so pampered that we didnt even think about this well being . I feel very selfish and guilty. I am a very bad daughter and a very bad person. I want to tell him that i love him alot and im sorry for everything but I dont have the guts to tell him that. My lack of confidence always kills me. ...Im sorry dad...

Dumb Chinese woman to have surgery to look like Jessica Alba in desperate bid to win back her ex-boyfriend

A Chinese woman whose boyfriend insisted she wore her make-up like actress Jessica Alba is now planning the drastic step of changing her entire face to look like the Hollywood star.

Desperate to win back her obsessed boyfriend, who had insisted she wore a blonde wig and copy Miss Alba in every way, the 21-year-old woman is prepared to spend a fortune on the very physical make-over.

Chinese surgeons say that changing the woman's face so she ends up looking like the Fantastic Four star can be done, but it will be extremely expensive.

Desperate: Xiaoqing, 21, is preparing to undergo cosmetic surgery to look like actress Jessica Alba. She is currently a brunette (left) but wears a wig her ex-boyfriend bought her to look like Alba (right)

However they have revealed that the woman is well off and that 'money is no object as long as the end result is to turn herself into a Jessica lookalike'.

Identifying herself only as Xiaoqing, the woman told the Shanghai Daily that her 28-year-old ex-boyfriend was so obsessed with Miss Alba that he hung photos of her on the walls of his home and carried her image on his mobile phone.

'He was always telling me to do my make-up like Jessica does, even when I'm asleep,' she said.

'At Christmas time he gave me a blonde wig to wear and asked me to keep it on all the time.'

Jessica Alba: Xiaoqing's ex-boyfriend is obsessed with the Hollywood actress

But it was that wig that was to bring about the end of their relationship.

As she walked around Shanghai wearing the wig and Miss Alba-style eye-catching make-up she noticed people staring at her and laughing. She was so upset by the public's reaction that she tore off the wig and her false eyelashes and threw them to the ground.

Reverting to her Chinese looks, her boyfriend wanted no more of her.

Now Xiaoqing has said she wants him back - and is ready to change her appearance so that she will look like Miss Alba forever.

'I love him very much,' she said of her former lover. 'That's why I always followed his opinions. I don't want to lose him.'

Liu Qi, an official at the Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital, said Xiaoqing would need eyebrow lifting, eyelid reshaping and nose reconstruction to look like Miss Alba.

'There's no worry about the expense and it is technically practicable,' said Liu.

'But the face-lift is irreversible and we hope that she would take it seriously.'

Although surgeons at the hospital said they believed money was no object, Xiaoqing told the newspaper that finding enough money for the operations would be difficult - which was why she had gone public in the hope of getting help from a plastic surgery hospital.

Doctors at the Shanghai Hospital say they will help her, but won't go ahead with the operation in a hurry.

'We want to make sure she is prepared for the risks she might face in surgery and for life afterward, including people's attitude towards her,' said a doctor.

But Xiaoqing insists she has made her decision and is ready to go ahead with the operation.

'I'm not only doing it for my ex-boyfriend but for myself,' she said. 'I am a psychologically weak person. I want to do something to challenge myself and build a strong personality through it.'

Elly says:

Now What in the dumbest shit is she talking about. about her being psychologically weak person. wanting to do something to challenge herself and build a strong personality through it.' Does she have any idea what she's talking about this retard bitch. I just don't get it. Its her ex-boyfriend who is the sickest douchebag. it's okay being obsesses with Jessica Alba but making someone dress like her its crazy and i just cant believe it even more that she can even dress up like Jessica all the time even during bedtime! and man with make ups on?. you got to be kidding me man. you should have just send your ex-boyfriend to the mental  hospital  for some sound check... now If that were to happen to me. I would go to his room and ripe apart all the posters on his walls, burn it and delete all the wallpaper of her in his cellphone for making me a substitute of Jessica Alba. tie him up, dress him like Jessica Alba and parade him all over the town.
Says my speech of peace to him, Thanks for nothing Honey, Thanks for making me the Jessica Alba wannabe, Thanks for the Love, Thanks for making me love you more, thanks for the suffering but most of all get the fuck out of my  beautiful life you fucking bastard and to hell with you and your sickest fetish , I'm beautiful and will always be beautiful you moron, stop being a jerk and lastly get a life oh! and not forgetting Your not for me and I'm not for you. But seriously you should have just use your heels and kick his balls... he deserved it big time for making you suffer. but getting a face lift. you totally kidding me. now that's worst... whats love got to do, got to do with it..... 

My Love lead to obsession and turn to lust.

                                  

My love and obsession for kwon Jiyong is exploding. It's going to skyrocket any moment. He's not my first love but he is my obsession. I'm so in love with him. Yeah maybe i sounded like some pervert or psycho on the lose.  But one thing for sure, my love and obsession with kwon Jiyong is going to turn me into some psychotic pervert one day. Its been nearly 2 years since my obsession with him and its never enough, its never ending. But don't worry, I'm not going to be a manic who send him a fan letter using my P.M.S blood like some lunatic fans. I'm so into my fantasy world that i totally forgotten about the reality. He is in Korea, while I'm staying so far far away from him, that is Singapore. The only thing that can get me closer to him is internet. And I am not going to denied that I can't live without computer and internet. Oh i forgotten to mention that he is the leader of the group name Big Bang.  And I'm proud to say of that I'm a V.I.P and A Blackjack!! YG Family family family!!! okay back to the topic, I was checking out the forums that that i everyday never fail to visit. So someone was posting a thread about 'I have fallen in love, more like obsession /Lust'.  Her story is indeed funny talking about this hot guy she was having a crush on and it lead  her to being horny and having naughty thoughts about him and the many embarrassing incident that happen to her and  why she was running away from him for 3 year. It lead me wondering whether i have fallen into a situation of ' I have fallen in love and it lead to obsession and it turn to lust. Oh There is, its kwon Jiyong!  But wait! he's way too far away from me and I'm one of his million fans and he doesn't even know i existed (Huge hammer knocking my head zillion times) okay that's make me sad but who says i can't live in a fantasy world with him .Oh there's a name for that fantasy world I'm living in it's call 'Elly in wonderland'. Oh Elly your full of shit! wait i cant denied it. so shut up. Jiyong i love you! makes me wonder whether I'm going to have wet dreams because of him. He will make my raging hormones goes wild..But I'm loving it every second...hmm. So I'm making people think that I'm some kind of a horny desperate women. who don't get what she wants at night. My answer is No. I'm not so desperate you see. I don't just seduce some tom, jack or harry for a one night stand.  that's to me is plain ridiculous.. unless it's kwon Jiyong. I don't mind. I could be his sex slave a servant to a master. wearing just a apron with bunny ears just for him. I sounded crazy here. But hold on a second i do own a kawaii apron and a bunny ears. but I don't care, do i look like i care!. okay so that person post that thread, just a few seconds later. there came all those replies. with their so called advice. I'm just going to copy and paste 3... stupid shit...

Adviser A= walk up to him and tell him your gonna give him the greatest head of his life and that you like to swallow. no man should ever refuse that.
when he busts in your mouth, hold it in and secretly spit it into a bottle.
take the bottle to a dr to place the sperm into your embryo.
2 months later tell him your pregnant and force him to marry you.
problem solved. next!
 (I nearly choke on my twister while reading this wtf! Its "great" advice)

Adviser B=Masturbation may be the key! You have to release yourself the night before you will be around him! Prepare yourself! Exploding in front of him could be crucial. Prepare your body for that sort of hotness!
It's amazing what guys will make you do and how they will make you feel, simply by being HAWT!
I feel your pain......pleasure!
Taking advantage of a guy you know in your dreams may help, too.

(Hmmm ....This adviser been through that..lol..)

Adviser C= get a vibrator and fuck yourself.

(hahaa! your so right)

Never ending reply to her thread..but wait a minute....

her story is similar to mine... but mine is kwon Jiyong... vibrator? Me?... and so i ask myself do i have a vibrator at home or do i Not have one. fuck myself? masturbation? me? unlikely for I'll be busy spazzing over Jiyong from time to time, if not work like a piece of dung for 6 days before getting a off day...aww man! that's so sad... whatever Elly......but wait so what option did that person choose... did she masturbate? rape that man... hmmm,. what do you think?.. are you thinking whether I'm that person. No I'm not you idiotic morons...that's all for today...bye! I'm waiting for Jiyong to come into my dreams and marry me!

It's 2010!!!! yeah!

Happy New Year everyone!!Its 2010!!yeah!

finally it's 2010! I have been waiting for this moment to arrived since forever! 2009 has been a really horrible year for me. Yes I'm talking about the entire year of 2009. Its was a wasted year for me. It's Not only that I've gone through a lot of major shits! I had to endure it, the lowest point of my life. I thought I've been kicked to Hell and i wont be able to fly back up to earth. But here i am on earth again! whohooo! praying and hoping 2010 is going to be a great year for me. And so do you.

*My New Year Resolutions*

1. Growing back my long hair( I know what you are thinking, when your reading this)
2. Financial ( It's going to take forever for me to even save money, but I'm trying)
3. Lose weight( Shit! I've been eating a lot and gain few kg! I'm not fat okay!)
4. Go back to school( Still deciding what course to take)
5. love my Korean idols even more!! ( I'm a die hard fan of my idols, so shut up)
6. wish to fall in love again( what a love life, please not tom jack or harry nonsensical)

That's all folks!! enough of my nonsense. I'm going to sleep! night people!

Do you still think of me or m I forgotten.

I have not seen or spoken to him in 1 and a half years, ever since we broke up but I do text him over some "important" matters and we happen to meet each other once over a friend farewell dinner. That's was the only time that i get to see him. As i was with a friend sitting down at the alfresco area waiting for the others to arrive. I was mumbling to myself that he's coming, asking myself the question 'How' a dozen times. Every second of my heartbeat was beating as if there's no tomorrow. The feeling is worst then waiting for my exams results.  Although it was not the most excruciating unbearably intense suffering i ever felt,  But i could still feel my heart and my head struggling with each other and it feels so nerve-racking. 

Not long before i knew, my body was signaling me, as if i had install a sensor in my body. My eyes was fixed to the taxi stand, especially this particular cab. As though my heart is telling me it's that taxi over there! Look!Look!.. A few second later, he went out of the cab. I was too shocked that i kept saying he's here, he's coming. Slowly, slowly he walk towards the restaurant we are at. I got so nervous that i keep asking my friend, 'How do i look?'. She keep assuring me that i look just fine. But i was way too nervous to even pay attention. My mind was going haywire like a broken recorder. Although i know he doesn't feels the same way. I try my hardest to act like Whatever, Not bothering he's here. My friend had to do some introduction for us because we were not looking at each other. I reluctantly said 'Hie' and give a little smile before i look away. It was a moment of awkwardness And how badly i wish i wasn't there.  My mind was screaming like it gone bonkers while still trying to calm myself down. I had to badly pretend that i don't care. But i do care, cause it's him. 

I think of him everyday and everything around me reminds me of him i don't cry anymore cause i have no tears left to fall. I still hope that he still love me but i know it's impossible and it just my wishful thinking. Trying to move on was the hardest thing i could ever imagine. Loving him was the most painful thing i had ever experience.  I am moving on slowly. I  feel like I gave him all of my love and I have no more to give and I don't think I will love anyone else like the way I love him but I know that he doesn't feel the same way and it kills me so much, so much that it feels like I'm slowly being tortured to death, slowly dying. All i can think is does he ever think about me or am i totally forgotten. Its been hard, I still love him.. My heart screaming out to him.. Do you still love me? seating down at the alfresco area, it felt like i had seated there for nearly a decades..

to be continue.