I want to break free

I hate it so much when i am in love. Seriously. It makes me weak and vulnerable. I appear fragile and i look stupid. I cannot control my feelings. My emotions rule my head it is ruining my life. I know my weakness but i am not doing anything about it or not trying hard enough. This is not the first time i am head over heels over someone. But it seems to me that i am unable or more appropriately never be able to conquer this delicate issue. I never handled it well since primary school. It is cliche but i am a standard example of the phrase: "When love and hate collides."

I love you so much. I feel so sissy by stating that here but this is my blog so shut up. Yes you mean the world to me now i can hardly breathe. You grabbed first priority. I cannot live a single day without you by my side. You said you love me too and i was over the moon. How admirable it is for you to live life as it is but sadly i am struggling. You are handling this pretty well i noticed. I am crumbling down when you are high and mighty. I feel freaking lousy about myself. I am so breaking apart cannot you see? Perhaps you chose to be oblivious to the surroundings.

My life is Topsy turvy and all jumbled up i felt lost. Just because i am in cloud nine nothing else works. It is crazy but all i can think about is you. When i eat i will wonder if you had eaten and stuffs like that you get my drift. You are like a pin in a haystack. Somewhat of a rare breed just like myself. I saw you through your flaws and spotted your astounding potentials. I told myself i could not let you go and you are worth my attention. Damn i am missing you right now.

Anyway back to basics. Ever since you came into my life things were not going my way or as planned. I found myself doing things against my will and principles. My success rate is rolling downhill. I am witnessing tragedies happening right before my eyes but i am just standing still playing possum. The power of love as some may say. I must however have a grip of myself and gain control once more. Loving someone sometimes mean leaving or sacrificing them and when returned it was meant to be but if lost then do not frown for it was never meant to last